Fatherhood has to be one of the toughest things I have ever embarked upon. It is also the thing that brings me some of the greatest joy.
IF you have not seen the vlog that this post pertains too, stop what you are doing and go to the link here:
And spend less than eight minuets getting to know me a little better. I will be referencing things that I spoke about in this video here, and context may be important.
Ok, back to what I was saying:
Now that you have watched the video, let us continue on with the conversation.
Right out of the gate, I want to thank those of you that have been following along for the last few years. Our journey has been rather unique, to say the least, but I hope that you have seen that I try to make the best of it.
I guess that I could roll up the topics into a few points, and discuss them a little further here. Please bear in mind that we are still figuring out how things are going to work with our Blog and Vlog, so let’s see how this works!
From the beginning, my adventure into fatherhood has been overwhelming. Not many parents have the ‘opportunity’ to get to know their child as well as Kati and I did. With all of the tests and conversations that surrounded Zoey (many still do to this day), we had the opportunity to get to see how her bones were developing, how her brain looks, and much more. However, looking back, I see that I had a choice that I had to make early on. I could either embrace Cranio, and all that it brings into our lives, or I could live in fear of it. Out of the shear love of my daughter, I faced cranio, and have embraced it.
It is interesting to realize that in these (almost) five, short, years the ways that I have learned to be a dad. I saw a quote the other day that stated motherhood was natural and fatherhood was a social construct. Now, I could fly off about the wording of that quote, or, I can point out the flaws. Simply, the social construct that surrounds fatherhood is a carryover from the 50’s. There are currently so many working on changing this view. I, proudly, am one of them. The concept of fatherhood needs an overhaul, just as much as does the concept of what makes a man.
Soapbox moment (sorry):
The topic of fatherhood makes me emotional. For some of you, it was plan to see in my video. There is a love that burns like the fire of a thousand suns for my children. Fatherhood has placed my heart on my sleeve, and I am not at all worried about it. Far to often the voices of dad’s goes unheard. This is based on the social construct that dad’s have little to do with raising their children. They just go to work, come home, and help. This social construct surrounding fatherhood does not stand in MANY of the households that I know of. It surely does not hold in mine. It is part of my journey of fatherhood to show this to my children. To have my daughter know what to expect, and my sons to know what is expected.
How has it made me a ‘damn good dad’?
I really do mean what I said in the video regarding not taking the title of “Cranio Dad” lightly. For all the ups and downs that I have been through this far, Fatherhood has been a grand adventure. I have been able to take so much about what I have had to learn to be the kind of father that Zoey needs, and apply it to how I am raising David and Jacob. By ensuring that there is equal 1:1 time, that I focus on the activities that bring them wonder, and by getting to know them, I am taking all the steps that I can to be the dad that EACH of them needs.
Needs vary greatly, and every child is different. One of the biggest things that I learned as I entered fatherhood is that we need to pause, as parents, and wait to see who each child is going to be. That is the hard part, and also the avenue to produce the greatness that we strive for as parents. Waiting. Letting our little ones show us who they are, what they like, what interests they hold dear. It sucks, but I would rather be their champion than their absent-minded coach. Perhaps that is why I feel I am doing my best to be a damn good dad. Because, even though I do not take fatherhood lightly, but I look at it differently than most.
Well, that does it for now. As we keep saying, please feel free to continue this conversation with us. Subscribe to our blog for daily snippets, our vlog for more conversations, and comment with your thoughts. We want to hear what you think, even if it differs greatly from our point of view.
Live big, love bigger, and be kind, always.